Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . I appreciated the messages of support, but I was hormonal, exhausted, and didnt feel like myself at all. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, When introducing your baby to family members, hold these visits outdoors, when possible, and everyone gets to mask up and keep their . Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. To snuggle skin to skin, eye-to-eye, face-to-face, breathing in his sweet new baby smell while he breathes . Thanks! Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide Especially in the winter season, avoid contact with a lot of people, as this is when more viruses are likely to be circulating, Dr. Ahmed adds. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness, Conflicts That Can Lead to Grandparent Estrangement, The 39 Best Gifts for Grandparents of 2023, Expert Tips on How Fathers Can Build a Custody Case, The Ups and Downs of Being a Young Grandparent, 12 Moms Share: What I Wish I Knew About the Postpartum Period. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. We are so blessed to have this little family. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. We actually had a scare on his second day that put him in the NICU with a possible infection and he already had a spinal tap because of it. Know that it's within your rights to ask them to keep their distance. Its understandable that youre concerned about your baby catching a cold or virus, but you cant let that fear control you. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Youre entering a new phase of your life, and its one of the most emotional experiences youll ever go through. Belly hold. Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. Your Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. Everyone we know understands. m. moonlitGalaxy. How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. Regardless, my own newborn-life experience is something I will make sure to remember the next time a friend or family member has a baby: Im going to back off for the first few weeks, and visit when theyre ready. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. Respond to crying. Forget about the common cold. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. Grandparents must understand that these decisions aren't something that parents are doing to the grandparents. So whats the final tally? Of course you're not being unreasonable! Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. You can obtain a copy of the DH: testicular cancer survivor!! Get weekly updates on baby and your body. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. They also offer support and. Stick to your guns! We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. Should I cut down on her baths. She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesnt know. Hold your baby to your shoulder or chest. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. Hattie Gladwell Tuesday 25 Aug 2020 1:42 pm. Those super small onesies. , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. Its not as soon as you might think. Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. But just on the father/husband side, the mothers parents arrive today. around. Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. Breast milk is the ideal food for babies with rare exceptions. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. We are dealing with the same thing right now. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. And we're not letting any of the kids hold him. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. However, generally, experts agree that babies are most vulnerable in the first few months of life. 1. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. And if strangers attempt to touch your baby? This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. "Ideally, it. Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. Those squishy little bodies. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. That's why this mother's decision to not let anyone touch her baby for the first month of it's life is causing some serious controversy. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. , 400px wide Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. posts, comments and submissions available. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. 3. This may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. Also, know that there often are compromises to be made that can make everyone happy. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. Another smart strategy, says Dr. Ahmed, is to let someone hold your baby for just a few minutes, thereby limiting your baby's potential exposure. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. Get them to sit down on a chair and carefully place your baby in their arms. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. 1. Their baby their rules. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. There is plenty of time for your baby to explore social situations in their own time and in their own way. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. That's a lot of Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. And the funny thing? However, newborns do not have a very developed immune system, so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch their little one. Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. The parents may be concerned about visitors bringing germs. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Let us know anonymously here! should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. EDD January 24, 2013 Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. 383. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. since infants can also contract the disease. Should you let them? If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. Signs of infection in newborns include fever (over 100.4 degrees Farenheit), being too sleepy to feed, or a sudden change in behaviorall of which should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately, says Dr. Hasson. No one has ever made me happier. Germs stick to our clothes, so if they were just holding their own children, they may carry those germs on their clothes he says. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. All Rights Reserved. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. 1. my 2nd . After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. Nemours Foundation. A few months ago, I. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! A post on Mumsnet . To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. We told our Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. Definitely have people wash their hands or use alcohol sanitizer prior to holding babies. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. They are going through a lot of changes. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. Babies also grow quickly in the early months and they have very small stomachs. So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. His son Ryan and. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. Updated: June 3, 2021. Truth is: it's not simple. I'm wet. Fun for everyone, right? Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. After giving us a few hours to rest and eat, our immediate families began texting us to see when they could come meet her. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. for the content of external websites. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. "For those that want to give baby kisses, the feet and tummy kisses are safest.". Above all else, be patient with new parents. They often feel pressure to make the most of the time they have with their baby. You know how it goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets. Side note- I have the same situation, I have one specific person who I don . Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. Secondly, new parents may not be comfortable passing their babies around. So we did it. Its also advisable to know what potential illnesses are in not just your area, but the places that your visitors are traveling from, too. If he interacts, talks, smiles, and so on with your baby, she will start feeling secure with him too. Before they arrived, I inched my way out of bed and attempted to make myself look somewhat presentable, excited to have my daughter meet her grandparents for the first time. I don't want a sick baby. Yes! We restricted visits initially. The bottom line. 6. Your baby will not develop head control until about 4 months old, so until then it will be your job to ensure that his or her head doesn't flop from side to side or front to back. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. No, my brother in law did most of the talking. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. It's just common sense. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby Nobody smokes. Hold your baby. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held.