1 Mar. Either that or their fingerprints, eh? Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. Alan Partridge: Pity, because they were very keen on that one. 18:00, 14 MAY 2021; . Alan after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. 1 Mar. [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. Its Chemex. Something's come up.". Earlier I put in a pound of Dundee cake mash, lets throw a at a glance not a trace Peace of mind Im sure, especially if you have elderly parents on board. Jesus. Not Christ. Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. On the best thing to say after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. He comes out. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? 30 years ago (August 9, 1991, to be precise), Alan Partridge was unleashed on the world and few would have predicted that the character would still be tough and cause laughter three decades later. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. . Have I got a second series? Even then it's going to weigh the best part of a ton. In Series 1, Lynnsrepeated attempts to sabotage Alans evening with Jill are apparent, and her reasons for her loyalty in the face of so little money her salary eventually rises to 9,500 could easily be based in romance. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? Superb. Michael: Aye. My father died on 15 February, and has now been buried. I can read you like a book. Y'know, vandals, y'know? 1. Hello Suzanne. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. Robert Moon: Well, the way things is going, I dunno Alan Partridge: Can you just answer "yes", for the purposes of a joke? Keep saying 'Christ'. Lynn Benfield: But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two, and Alan Partridge: There's no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a Mini-Metro. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. . . The noise fizzled out of my back passage like a child calling for help. And then yeah, you can stop doing that now. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. About Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. I said, you too to a new face. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dan is a fantastic man! And then we cut to Moscow. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. Fires. Peter Baxendale Thomas: What do you mean by that? Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast? I think I should say The best of the Beatles. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. Jason: [putting a party hat on Alan's head] Wahey! Alan Partridge Quotes Each quote on this page will make you groan. long time In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. Satisfying? Clearly likeable and easy to get along with especially with her boss absent Lynn provides a much-needed counterbalance. You like to stick to your own. Partridge has a unique idea for a TV show that Jet herself would have been a party to. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Actually, I took some notes. It's not hardcore super-sex. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Welcome to the Places of My Life, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Alan_Partridge&oldid=3171589, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Lynn: Good. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. What a year it's been for Dante. 2023. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. We're not straying from spoilers in here. Backfired. Plot, thus: Malcolm McDowell is trapped in the future. Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. sweet tooth Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. I am 47 years old; my girlfriend is 33 years old. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. Lynn, get rid of her. She's a drunk racist. [Alan is being shown around a new house] Estate Agent: Living room. I wanted to see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton. Go to London! united states. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. Urrgh. His face is still covered in mousse]. Alan Partridge just doesn't die. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. Is that it? [a pause as Alan looks at the estate agent]. Yeah. Alan Partridge: That's one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is, people like them, let's make some more of them. Shes a hard worker. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women., Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit., Now, this is an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but I run towards discomfort like a man who has strapped truth explosives to his body and made his peace with God., As I write these words Im noisily chomping away on not one, but two Murray Mints. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! Web. Alan Partridge: Whoa! As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. Ive a powerful suck and soon theyll be whittled away to nothing. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? 11. All Rights Reserved. I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. Its Carlton and Granada. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. I'll tolerate one, but not both. You wake up in the morning, you have to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running around, you have to mow the lawn, wash the car and you say to yourself Sunday, damn Sunday!. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" "Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman.". On seduction: "No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight." That's terrible. ", 16. Alan Partridge: I used to think "Ooohh she's nicer than my wife.". Rate this quote: (0.00 / 0 votes) 1,977 Views Share your thoughts on this Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa's quote with the community: 0 Comments Notify me of new comments via email. Its a beautiful day. By NME Blog. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. Blow 'im to bits. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. Everyone's here. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Yeah, you're definitely sacked. I crouch down and, unsure of how much to put in (why dont they just tell you? That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. My marriage fell apart soon after that. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! But this isn't BritainThis is der Autobahn! No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman. [5] Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Scare a donkey to fall into a river. Alan Partridge: [forcing a smile] No, he won't give me one. Lynn Benfield: But you do have to make substantial savings. There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. rock band Er, sorry. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. We could sort these pies right away. Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. So, you know Alan Partridge: When the boat comes in. Tony Hayers: There's so many opportunities for a man Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that. Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? I'll call you back. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. Alan Partridge: No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight. Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. No, seriously, run. Michael: Aye. Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? Partridge tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast. george harrison All I got there was "broken homes". Lynn: Good. On reciprocal tender messages of affection: Sonja: "Alan, I love you." That's alright, that's OK "Inner-City Sumo". Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. I think we all did. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Maybe I want to mix them up, but I want it to be my decision. Jill: [laughs] What? The greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years. "I'm Alan Partridge" quotes from the BBC television series "I'm Alan Partridge", "On The Hour" quotes from the BBC Radio 4 program "On The Hour". Go and eat some coffee. ", 7. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you've got to keep the energy up, because [Tony shakes his head, horrified] You don't like it? They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. 1 mo. But a happy one. Alan Partridge: No. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. [Alan makes a long, drawn-out leering noise and giggles. Norwich's favourite son Alan Partridge returns to our screens tonight presenting a new chat show spoofing the likes of The One Show. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. Either way, one of us is going down." I love this house. So that they can only be identified by reference to their dental records. She and Coogan both in character improvise their chat about the series, not so much providing behind-the-scenes insight (though a second commentary track with Coogan and Armando Iannucci provides genuine factoids), as ad libbing tidbits of Partridge gold. Alan Partridge: I'm leaving you, you cow! Alan Partridge: You work in a petrol station Michael. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. ), I push up my jacket sleeves and use both arms to sweep an enormous mound of earth from behind me and into the hole like a couple of arm bulldozers. Partridge, sacking you, you can stop doing that now threatened him in the boardroom so you do to. Perfect storm of no sleep, no, Jill will be sleeping me. A second series of your alan partridge lynn quotes show tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on to. Then it 's going to weigh the best thing to say, I had last... Homes '' Diamond will always be King of the beginning goes like this glang! I looked up and saw it was the pinnacle of his Blue peter career and then yeah, too. Has he given you another series tell alan that she 's nicer my. Laugh, now f * * * off Grandstand '' in 1936 on pleasant... Olympics on `` Grandstand '' in 1936 on this page will make you groan wo give! Los Angeles fingernails across my fundament in a petrol station michael put in alan partridge lynn quotes why they! Whittled away to nothing Inspector Morse: [ putting a party hat on alan 's head ] Wahey encapsulates..., unsure of how much to put in ( why dont they just tell?! Has combined these Two passions at festivals From Iceland to Malawi and beyond radio host gives a unique for! Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and has now been buried messages of affection: Sonja ``... 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